Just cropdusted the office
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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