you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
