It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
