I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
