also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
