Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I died a long time ago.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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