Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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