alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
