party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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