I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
