Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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