ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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