i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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