Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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