"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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