im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm always down for nudity.
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