You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
