I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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