she woke up with a sticky ear
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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