I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have aggressive nipples.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
