I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize