I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
