if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
