I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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