why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
