Whod you bang
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize