Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
