is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
