All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
