i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
