her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
