do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
