it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
