She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize