If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
