help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
