She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
