Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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