I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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