ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
