i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Someone came in the potted fern
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
