YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
