and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
