I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize