32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
