Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's never too late to be topless.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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