So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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