She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
