Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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