I think I am morally bankrupt
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't deserve a penis
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
