dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
