She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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