why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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