Umm I'm too high to move.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
