what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
