can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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