I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize