Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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