I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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