you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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