I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
