Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
