Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
