that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
