This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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