man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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