I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
